Two Years In The Making.

Today, as I sat in my small health class surrounded by nine girls, something hit me. We were watching a movie called 28 Days. It was an "okay" movie, but, just like every other movie, there was that one moment where you just zone out. I "zoned" out for a good five minutes. I was pondering on, and on about the changes in my life, and how some of them payed off.

Two years ago, I had this crazy idea in my mind that I wanted to attend a Catholic high school. Everyone thought I was crazy, and that it was just a "phase".

And in the end...well, I won't ruin it for you.

Anyways, I was in eighth grade. I was absolutely, positively sure that it was the best year of my life, and man was I right. I had amazing friends, great teachers, and I loved waking up in the morning. People would think I was an absolute "nut ball" because I loved school that much.

When April came around, we had our guidance counselor come in to talk to us about our high school schedules. He helped us make our schedules, and prepare ourselves for the upcoming year. Everyone was excited, besides me. I am pretty sure, out of my graduation class of four-hundred and fifty students, I was one of five who were not excited for the next year. It wasn't until that moment where I started dreading waking up in the morning. Every day I woke up lead to another day closer to high school. I was modified. I talked to everyone I could to try to get input on the high school, but everyone had the exact same reply. They thought it was amazing, and I quote, "It's so much more freedom." Freedom. One thing I did not want. I liked the amount of freedom I was already receiving at the middle school, and I would be fine without more freedom.

After that I did everything I could to try to hold back high school. At one point, I had the idea of failing come to mind, but it was such an absurd idea. I could never, ever go through with that anyways. My one friend was in the same "boat" as I was. She didn't want to go to the high school, in fact she was looking into better options that didn't seem as scary. Said friend was looking into a Catholic high school. One with a better environment, and a better "feeling". Being her friend I went with her on her shadow dates to explore the schools, and see how high school would be.

After the end of the year quickly passed by, I hadn't made up my mind. I was planing on starting my Freshmen year at the Freedom high school. That year was one of the hardest for me. I had lost some friends, and I hated getting up in the morning. Every day I would have a study hall, that I did not use for studying. I didn't use it for homework, or listening to my iPod and texting like every other student in the room. I used that time to write. I wrote about high school, and how it has effected me.

As Amanda, I keep all my old things. I am NOT a hoarder! I have it all tucked away, neatly in my memory box that I made in second grade. Everything is in there. My old notes, my letters, my favorite picture, things I got from people that I absolutely adored. Everything. The other day I decided to go through it, which I do A LOT. I like to re-read things, and look at old memories. At the bottom of the box I found the journal that I used during my study halls. I had one specific page that I love to read. Here is a little bit of it.

If I were to switch school...
What would happen? These are the things I am scared of.
1) What people would say...?
2) Would I lose all my old friends...?
3) I wouldn't be afraid to ask questions.
4) It would be ALL girls, no boys= no distractions.
5) No fights.
6) No drugs.
7) Would I be a lot happier...?

There were several more, along with other side notes, but this one really stood out to me. Today when I was "zoning" out, I was interrupted by the song Lean On Me. That song lead me right back to the memories of middle school.

 We would listen to that song every Friday, it was like the schools "anthem". As I was humming along in my head, I couldn't help but think about one special time I had heard the song. I was sitting in my guidance counselors office making a Pros's and Con's list for high school. My counselor was like my go-to guy. I trusted him with everything, and I always took his advise to heart. I went down to talk to him on a Friday morning to tell him about my shadow at Mt. Mercy. We were making a list of all the things I liked, and disliked.

The song kept playing on and on, as the credits disappeared when they hit the top of the smart board. I sat there just thinking about how all of that, lead to this. I thought about how those two years, helped me get to where I am today.

Today, I sat there surrounded by my class of nine thinking about what a great decision I had made. I thought about all the good times I had in middle school, and how I was re-living them two years later.  Thinking about how I love getting up every morning and knowing I am going somewhere I love. And, how I might have lost some friends, but I gained forty-five new ones. After all, it was two years in the making.